Judge Kimmel: So, you had over $3,000 in damages of the property that you leased. What do you have to say for this...?

luckily, I was an expert in the craft of, uh, arguing. I decided that I would pull out my best excuse: the "Squirrels are Evil" excuse. Surely the judge would see it my way after that...

John: Well, Squirrels ARE evil.

Judge Kimmel: And...

John: And. and, they're EVIL...! Just look at them, going around stuffing their FAT. FUGLY. FACES. With nuts to say the least. Thinking they're gonna get away with murder. All while planning the eventual take over of earth! They're evil judge, that's all I have to say...