these drugs don't work

a project question

all work no play makes Jack a dull boy.

i think the secret is to remain quiet at all times.

please stop talking, i can hear you...

the project

Gotta slow down and take my time.

becoming zombified when i look at the work that needs to be done.

in my head it's nearly done, but in reality, tons of coding, artwork, and CG must be completed.

think the problem that i'm coming across is that i don't like the design, i.e. it's not different enough, not revolutionary enough. in order to reinvent something the design is a major part of that.

gotta keep trying, take a step at a time, complete it in chunks, but NOT rush, because rushing stalls the process...

...

(tbc.)

*sigh*

*sigh*

work, work, work, and when you have a stable backup, then you can get your life together.

i'm glad blogger exists, today i did some venting and i felt like punching a hole in the wall.

but i didn't. maybe i'm not too crazy after all.

... but i am crazy.

this makes me think.

if i have to become "GAY" in order to get rid of this disorder, then i'll DO it. i'm ready to commit to that. here's the problem, either i really do have a disorder THAT EXISTS! OR that is a BUNCH OF BULLSHIT and i am really just a fucking normal person who was forced to take fucking pills that fucked up my life.


...

You know what i feeeel like...?
"They" didn't ask me what I FEEEEL like, when THEY forced me to take BULLSHIT.
FUCKING FAGOTS.

I HATE THEM.

You know what i feeeel like...?

You wouldn't know, you can't hear me...

...

too bad for you.

FAGOTS. v1

you fucking fagots. did you ask me for my permission before you decided to LEGALLY change my status... YOU DIDN'T ASK ME, FAGOTS. did you wait until i was 18 to label my medical history with BULLSHIT. FAGOTS. MAYBE the reason i acted the way i did was because i had a horrible parent. FAGOTS. you bunch of fucking FAGOTS. you fucked up my life: pray, pray, PRAY, to your fucking gOD, pray to the pills that you prescribe and force down innocent children's throats, pray to your elite and "higher level of thinking", pray to your fucking gOD, to consumerism, to money, to everything you idolize, pray, that within the next 50 years, i don't  fuck up yours. FAGOTS.