everybody gonna be like, "this sucks". okay, i can dig it. but you said, "this sucks," 1 month ago. and i know that sucked more than this. it is only a matter of time before it sucks so much less than its counterparts that it actually doesn't suck at all. do i care...? in the process of experimenting Jekyll pays no attention to people outside the lab. some sugar here some spice there. maybe some meth. eventually, Jekyll gets it right. equivalation: PROGRESS. that's what counts. the last beat i made was superior to all my others, quality wise. just got started on vocals. but WE can always do better. mark my words: if i produce an album, it will NOT sound like shit...

the conversation between dark me and me

what did i tell you

you told me you could do this shit

that's right

if you told me then how come you haven't...?

i just did

that's not good enough

nothin's good enough for you. I KNOW ITS NOT GOOD ENOUGH...! it's a starting point

why isn't it good enough...?

i have time

how long...?

20 years

20 years...! hahaha you jackass

why do you mock me... i'll show you. where will you be in 20 years...? probably sitting on your ass watching american idol season 29

hey. i like that show. don't dis

you just dissed me

you allowed yourself to be dissed

well you allowed yourself to work for me in 20 years. don't worry

i don't worry about anything. you're the one who should be worried. everybody thinks you're going to fail. even your sister. that must suck. your own family doesn't believe in you

ya know what...? why don't you just shut the fuck up. just shut the fuck. you're ignorant

you're the one who has been called "ignorant". i wouldn't throw that word around too lightly hahaha

nothing funny here. those people don't know what they are talking about. bless them. that's all i can say. they wash their hands clean of me, i do the same for them

oooh, sounds like some rap lyrics

good idea, i'll put that in my next song

if you ever make it like you say you are

weeellll, you know how it is. people want evidence that something exists. that's not my responsibility to hate them for that. they're normal. they will never be like me

grandiose aren't we...?

i have the right to be

who says...?

i don't need no one's permission. what the fuck planet you come from...?

i don't live on a planet. i live in your head

o yeah, is that so...? interesting. how am i talking to you right in front of me then...?

go get something to eat

what...? why...? what does that have to do with-

you're hallucinating. you haven't eaten anything today

excuse me. i don't hallucinate

o really. i just told you you do

i'm smarter than you. if you are part of me then i control you

fag. did you control that...?

you're just part of the blackness in me. the blackness that wants to take control. but you can't have me

you fucking fag. you'll never make it. you're a fucking loser. LOSER. nobody likes you

oh, i see that you're upset. upset means that you feel psychologically inferior to me

you don't know what you're talking about. you don't have a degree

i don't need a degree. i have the Master Idea

fuck that. you don't know what you're talking about

NO. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

LOSER. YOU'LL NEVER BE ANYTHING. YOU'RE A FUCKING LOSER

...

what, you aren't going to say anything...? LOSER. you know i'm right

you're right

... what...?

you're right. i'm a fucking loser. i'm a loser and i have to accept that

what the fuck...? what are you doing

i am SUCH A FUCKING LOSER.

why are you agreeing with me...?

so you will shut the fuck up. now leave me alone.

don't let other people's doubts bring you down. know better than skepticism. believe that you can do it, even when you are most hopeless, because it is at the time when we are most hopeless, that we have the ability to make the most difference...

sometimes i don't know what the freak is going on...

...then I thought, wouldn't it be even more ironic, if the second coming of Jesus was a woman...?

I wonder what her name would be... "Jewel"?

Then I thought,

wouldn't it be ironic if the Antichrist's son was the second coming of Jesus...? But the antichrist doesn't know it.

wierd.

i don't know why i'm thinking about this, BUT... o wait, yes i do. because "Santa" rearranged spells "Satan". anyway, I was thinking, what if Santa was the antichrist...? and the 12 reindeer were his disciples... and, AND the ELVEs were his MINIONS.

i guess i'll walk out in this snow and whatnot... gotta get some juice. some snow juice. mm mm. hahaha. i kid. but i gotta get some drink from the store. for real

did you know that the word, "Santa" rearranged spells "Satan"...? weird huh?

don't be afraid of the dark. for without darkness, how would we know that light exists...?

i kept saying, "i need to take a break. i need to take a break," i need to take a break. well, now i get to. i get to take a break.

wow. and you know, it's amazing. i tried staying away from my passion. the more i tried to stay away from it, the more i tried to not think of it, the more it psychologically conflicted with college. it just goes to prove that just because you don't do something, just because i stayed away from the beats, from other things like philosophy, doesn't mean that i would succeed at my first semester back.

it's my fault that everything in my life, all the 'mishaps' and the misfortune, it is my fault that it has happened to me. my fault that i have a disorder and i choose to let it control me. it is my fault that i choose to fail at things that i am not naturally talented at. it is entirely MY FAULT when i fail. i have to take responsibility for me.

...and if it is entirely my fault when i fail, then it is entirely my fault when i succeed.

what if they made a ghetto version of Marry Poppins. it would be called like, Mary Perry's or Ho Poppins or something i dunno. except Mary Poppins is a drunk, fat, Hobo who smokes weed, that's how he gets 'high' haha. Chim-chimney Chim-chimney chim chim

John's talent agent is outside his closed bedroom door. He talks so that John who is laying smugly in his bed like a spoiled 2 year old can hear him.

Agent: John we're going to the party tonight we need you to be there to help boost the sales of your cd.

John: (2 year old tantrum whiny voice. you can hear it muffled from outside the door) no! i don' wanna!

Agent: Why...?

John: becuase i have to be fake. and i don wanna be fake...!

Agent: John, this is very important that you go, otherwise how will the consumers know what they are buying.

John: (chanting in a sort of melody) i wanna go home. i wanna go home.

Agent: ... uh, .... What?

John: i don wanna be fake!

Agent: John its just a party, just for tonight...

John: i don't like parties! people go around being fake and shiet...

Agent: John, sometimes you have to be fake in order to get something done.

John: ???.....

Agent: John, John...? are you there...?

...

John: NEVERRRRR! NEEVERRRRRR!