Wednesday, October 31, 2012

blah blah

You can't control whether Satan mocks you.

BUT, you CAN control what YOU do about it.

i hate reading english literature. it is so pointless, to me. i mean, i know it is an artform, but i don't understand it. which is probably why i don't like reading it. i mean, they could just simply show the whole book in a movie if they wanted to get a point across.

reading english literature is like reading a history book. but it's all FICTIONAL. who wants to read pages upon pages of a fake history book...?

if there is a lesson to be learned, just tell me the fucking lesson and let's get on with life. i shouldn't have to read, like, 300 pages of fictional-ness to get it. GET IT...?

that is why english is an ART. because some people get it, and some people don't...

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Is there an afterlife...?

i was thinking that there has to be an after life because how would i know that i exist now without there being an afterlife...? get it...? i'm saying, if i have memories now there should be an afterlife, otherwise i wouldn't remember who i am at any given moment, i.e. memory is the result of an end place, the place we get to before the afterlife. before memory, we are just animals part of the energy of the universe, however not intelligent.

How does having memory mean that there is an afterlife...? Because if we didn't have memories or intelligence... good question, need to think more, forgot how i came to this conclusion.

BUT, just because we perceive ourselves to have memories, see, memories and human intelligence could not be intelligence after-all, it could just be another natural function that has occurred through nature, and it is only intelligence and memory because we perceive it to be more than it is. therefore, concluding that we are all just "energies" in the system, part of the Master Idea, and we will continue to be energies fluctuating within/throughout the Master Idea for all eternity...

These are the thoughts of a psychopath, a madman

These are the thoughts of a psychopath, a madman not to be reasoned with...

John: Does a man who is abused allow his abuser to get away with it...?

Jack: Who's at fault...? Man is his own abuser.

John: That would imply that I have control over my abuse.

Jack: In the NOW. We can't do anything about the past. You can choose to be abused or remove yourself from it.

John: So I have to come to the revelation that the past is just some illusion and who I am is who I choose to be...?

Jack: ...perhaps.

John: What if I choose NOTHING...?

Jack: Then you are NOTHING...

John: So I could choose to be anybody I want to be...?

Jack: You act like this is some kind of weird scientific fact or something. The answer is: yes, you are what you choose to be.

John: hmmm...

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

God damn. i will punch myself in the face if i have to to get myself to concentrate. but that would be "crazy"...

too much 'radiation' going around. for some reason, the FORCE IS STRONG tonight... haha. i'll just have to ignore it.
fear is either fight or flight, and i can't fight. so i'm flying.
everybody has there place. some people, within the circle, others, outside of it
what's going on...?

Everything must be a game...?

why must he make it a game, why can't he enjoy doing this...? gotta make it a game, it has to be a game, otherwise, it won't get done...

that's kind of odd.

introspection tells him that he must make things he dislikes into a game. why does he have to make them into a game in the first place? what is this conflict? why does he continue to do something that repels him...?

the question is, why does it repel him...?

he thinks he's figured out the root to his problems. he was once oppressed, as an artist. he was controlled and oppressed, to the point where it was smothering out his originality. no one wants to be a robot.

the reason why he is repelled by doing this is because subconsciously, he believes that he is doing this for someone else, not himself.

so we have a problem with authority. an all or nothing proposal:

"if i'm not doing this for myself, then i won't do it at all."

but it only makes sense. why would he do something, if it's not for himself...? even if he knows that what repels him is good for him, if somebody else commands him to do it, he won't do it.

therefore, he has to trick his mind into thinking it is a game. a game where he comes out the winner...