i gotta do all this stuff today, gdit. no time for what i want. that's when you know you've been procrastinating, too long

The creep from the corner

that awkward moment
when a random gent
who happens to be from lafayette
he's ugly, got a stache and has a bald head
comes out of nowhere with a small dog and says

"hi john
i know who you are, but you don't know me"
so what are you called, a professional creep?

wigga, PLEASE

don't make ME

get violent on yo ass

cause i know how to play the violin really fast
this one man symphony aint for one man's sympathy
so get back
relax
take a chill pill
walk a mile
turn that frown to a smile
and have a nice day

im bout to blast
yo hat with a bullet in the cap
isn't that what you wanted to have?
i got a gat
my finger on the trigger i'm bout to pull it
and attack
lyrics cliche,
sorry about that
i told you i'm violient
but my face is so silent
so nobody knows what i'm thinking inside it
what you think i'm kidding?
don't bring me to your wedding
i'll slap the first hoe
i see in my bedding

i may be fretting
seriously do you get it?!
i don't want to kill you
motherfucker i'm too near you
you smell like fear
it's cold in here
that's when i realized
i was looking in the mirror

nigga you aint nothing
but you gonna be something
cause you gotta be something
before you fall down and die
and if you aint nothing
then you gotta be something
cause two double negatives
make all the wrongs right

Jesus did it.

Executive Producer: who do you think you are...?! I know everyone in this industry! You'll never work for me again...!

Jesus: You're right. I work for God only.

Jesus did it.

Ya know, 'Jesus did it'. Like, 'diddy did it'..? eh? sound familiar? read on

The Antagonist: You're an asshole!

Jesus: I am whatever you say am.

Sir1 and Sir2

Sir1 and Sir 2 are highly established english gentlemen with partiallities towards fine wine, clubhouse dining, and ping pong. Yep, ping pong. don't ask me. just read the script

Sir1: Sir2 i have something to tell you...

Sir2: what is it Sir1...?

Sir1: i've been fornicating with Mrs. Sir2.

Sir2: why that's mallarcky...!

Sir1: if that's mallarcky then i'll have mallarcky for breakfast! Lunch! Brrrunch (trill the 'r')! And Dinner!

Sir3: Let's not forget supper and midnight snack

Sir1: oh yes, supper and midnight snack, verilly agreed Sir3

Vegeta lost his car keys

Vegeta lost his car keys. Imagine what destruction happens while he tries locating them.

wait... WTF does Vegeta need car keys for anyway? He can just fly. Afterward he realizes.

Spiders

there's a lot of spiders flying around the air lately, getting stuck in the freezer and what-not. reminds me of a song...

There's a spider
in my hair
but it's okay
cause i don't really care
cause i love my spiders
they're really cool pets
but i can't take a shower
cause they don't like getting wet

Now switch spider with "grandma"....

my Grandma's
in my hair
but it's okay
cause i don't really care
cause i love my grandma
she's a really cool pet
but i can't take a shower
cause she doesn't like getting wet

...

i like the first one better