No More Quotes by Someone Your Senior

-XJ

don't know what to do now. it's almost like i don't care. and i feel good not caring. i deserve to not care. because i cared for so long. what difference did it make...? i'm not afraid to leave. are you...?

going to try being silent for 24 hours... this is going to be hard, specifically since i talk to myself to try to cancel out negative thoughts from others

NOTICE

I HAVE JUST OPENED UP THOUGHTS FROM A SCORPIO AGAIN.

ALL OF THE BELOW MUST BE UPDATED.

PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED BY THE LANGUAGE THAT IS USED. IT IS NOT MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE AND IS NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE. THESE ARE THOUGHTS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT ADHERE TO REALITY, OR REALISTIC SITUATIONS.

-XJ

unfortuneatly, i have to find another place for my ideas. until that happens, NO ONE will be able to see them. sorry, NO ONE, if you are who you say you are, i have nothing to worry about.

looking looking looking, now i don't want to get up. damnit...!

i found something interesting. i typed in "Where are you" into google and Frank Sinatra's 13th album, which I have never heard of in my life popped up.

i just find it interesting that it's his 13th album for obvious reason. The title says it all: i'm not looking for you, i'm looking for "You".

you're sitting and thinking and you're not doing, John, you're NOT. DOING.

so...?

So you're gonna waste your life away.

and...? and what's wrong with that.

What is all the suffering for...?

Exactly, what is all the suffereing for...? Maybe there is no meaning to why i am here...? what if i never knew about the Master Idea what if i never knew....?

Then you would be one lost soul, you would be suffering and not knowing why...

because i wouldn't know the master idea (rhetorically)

yes, exactly.

so, who cares...? i know it now. i could live on this income for the rest of my life.

learn from the mistakes of your past lives.

right, i forgot about that.

test

Testing

yes, yess, that's it.

a 3D visualization of the Master Idea, that is interactive using the 5-tier system

That's what i'll build my next website around...

what will it be useful for...? we'll find out

dear vampirestat,

you're annoying in my stats, you're blogging them up. so could you please blog somebody else's stats up...?

thanks,

a blogger

drivebys

to the guy shouting out of the window of his car!: you have no idea who you're shouting at! thanks...! but i know who i'm shouting at: a dumbass...! haha i hope you enjoyed yourself at the expense of my existence! but if i make your day brighter just because i exist, i guess that's nothing to complain about...! at least somebody's happy...! have a good day...!

WANT A and WANT T

i think there are two different types of wants
what we think we want, and what we actually want

WANT_A
WANT_T

WANT_T is based on everything that we've actually felt through any of our senses, after birth.
i.e., we can never WANT_T something we have never felt before.

WANT_A is a powerful force that forces us to get what we WANT_A even if we are unaware of what we want. WANT_A is a want that goes along with the contancy of the Universe and it is what we have always wanted since the beginning of time, even in our past lives.

it is possible that WANT_A == WANT_T, however just because WANT_T exists doesn't mean it is equal to WANT_A, therefore WANT_T might never be realized.

furthermore, WANT_T is based only on what we've experienced after birth, so we might THINK we WANT something that gives us a feeling, but in all acutality if we ever got that feeling it is possible that the feeling we thought we wanted is a totally different feeling from what we actually get or what it actually is.

hence, we can think we want something, but thinking to want something can equal thinking to want something else, but it isn't something else because we don't know it.

the difference between want and like

there's a difference between WANT and LIKE.

the difference is, WANT means that a person will get what they are seeking.

if you WANT something, you WILL GET IT.
if you don't WANT something, you will NOT get it.

however, just because you WANT something, doesn't mean that you will LIKE the process it takes to get it.

so i WANT to get this stuff done, however, i don't LIKE the process i have to go through everyday to even start on finishing a project.

also, if someone doesn't LIKE the process it takes to get something, their body might adjust and NOT WANT what they don't like anymore.

but then there's the theory that what you WANT cannot be changed and is set at birth. so, we might THINK that we WANT something, but if we never get that something, then we never WANTED it in the first place.

so we can never NOT WANT something, because that would denote that there is a choice, which based on the theory, there isn't.

we can only GET what we WANT, although we may or may not be aware of what we actually WANT.

WANT is complex. it needs to be studied more but on a scientific terms, it can be described as a predisposition / genetics / heredity (i think) and on a more metaphysical level we have studies such as Numerology which basically say that there is a 'constancy' in the universe, that is similar to, of course we have the Master Idea to go along with that.

get it...?

need a month's supply of energy drink.

that would cost me about $80.

hmm, it might be worth it

need a freakin office

makes me angry like hulk

gonna hulk smash all this shit

where's my freakin office...?

need to build a shell

sound proof, air conditioned, with internet, only for one person, me

no groups of people talking in the background, nothing

cause other people's energy is distracting

especially when you DON'T want to do something.

whatever,

most people probably won't see it so they probably won't know about any relationship whatsoever, and most people, if they see it, they won't even think about it, but the thing is, they're taking it with them, where ever they go, whether they know about it or not...

THE POWER OF NUMBERS....!

but more specifically,

 THE POWER OF IMAGE BROADCASTING / PROJECTION (Theory)

...

that's the image broadcasting theory i'm talking about. (in other blog)

makes me angry to know that i could've done better, i could have reached my potential by now or been closer to it had these 'things' not gotten in my way.

it's like being in a cross country race where someone is holding you back by your arms.

"LET. GO. OF. ME....!"

i'm probably going to be reincarnated, if i die before i reach my potential

what was that saying,

"it is better to light a candle than curse the darkness"

how is it that a 5 with a less than 10 destiny and a 6 with a less than 10 destiny are more successful than a 1 with an 11 destiny...?

i'm not trying hard enough. 

also, i shouldn't be comparing.

there can only be 1

Today is a beautiful day outside, but when i went inside there was this big huge mother fucking fly just zooming around the library. God it's annoying. and they're disgusting too....!

a fly is the only mf from the insect world i would kill, besides a black widow.

sometimes i think flys are spies from the devil, cause... God there it is again...! AGH, annoying mf...

...cause everytime i'm doing something important or it's a nice day, a fly has to show up and annoy the f out of me. just that annoying buzzing noise "ZZZZZZZZZ"... that's when you know. it's a HUGE MOTHER FUCKING FLY

*rolls up some paper*

"There can only be ONE...!"

beginning to think that computer graphics isn't my preferred outlet.  but i can't stop now: if i don't do it, who will...? then it will never be 'materialized'...! agh! oy ve!

haha i used oy ve, and i'm not Jewish.

is that legal...?!
(okay, I looked for a meme, couldn't find one)