trying to give up what's been holding me back in the past 8 years. at the same time, it's like, there's nothing to motivate me anymore cause i have no anger to back me up, no anger to push me, nothing. when you let go of your past

the grievances of my past are what pushed me to be better than what i am.
if i have none, what propels me anymore...?

"I must get this done, so i can show so and so that i'm better than them."

that doesn't exist anymore. why should i keep doing what i'm doing...?
...

what will i do...? i'm in a white room, surrounded by nothing.